My son has been in a performing group for the past 4 months. He loves doing it but it has been very demanding and time consuming and he has missed out on a lot of family activities. Before he signed up for it, he committed to his cousin to go to Owl City concert in April for her birthday. My sister bought the tickets and 4 months later, we realized it conflicted with his rehearsal schedule. We contacted the director and she said if he missed rehearsal he would be pulled from the part they were rehearsing that night which happened to be the FIRST HALF OF THE SHOW. Oh, the dilemna. I try to teach my kids that every decision has a consequence, good or bad. My son and I discussed the consequences for both. He was so frustrated that he had to decide between two good things. He had worked so hard in the play. He was also very excited to go to the concert with his cousin (you should have seen the excitment in his eyes when he was invited to the concert, priceless!). The decision he made was to go to the concert because he had made that committment first and, unfortunately, he was pulled from the first half of the show. Devastating! I went through every emotion...frustration, anger, mad, revenge, understanding and acceptance, guilt, and finally peace. The guilt was overwhelming! This didn't come until 4 days later. I woke up with extreme, overwhelming, consuming guilt. I cried for 2 hours. As tears flowed, I prayed to my Father in Heaven to "remove this cup". It was too much for me to handle and he did. I have not felt any more emotions since then except peace and comfort. My son handled it much better. He accepted the consequence and enjoyed the experience. We talked about the lessons we can learn from this...
When you make one mistake, the Lord does not reject you (or kick you out). It's not one strike you are out. I am so grateful for the atonement which allows us to repent from our many and continous mistakes.
Learn from small mistakes now that have minimal consequences than large mistakes later that could have catastropic mistakes.
Every decision we make has a consquence, good and bad. Learn from your mistakes. Go through the emotions but when it gets to be too much to handle, pray to your Father in Heaven. He already suffered for our mistakes. We don't need to suffer more than is needed. Again, I am grateful for the atonement.
You are not replaceable. You are of value and great worth. One of the messages they were sending my son was that he was replaceable. After all the hard work and sacrifices, someone else was going to take his place. I didn't agree with that AT ALL! No one can take his place.
It really matters how you treat others even if they are in the wrong. I was treated poorly and at first treated them the same way. I apologized to them for my behavior. I recently read a quote that said it all "...take responsiblity for our own behavior that a change of heart can take place."
Excel in whatever you can do. Since he was pulled from the first half, he helped out back stage until it was his part. He had a very good attitude. And when he came on, we cheered and secretly knew that the show was better from then on out.
Follow through with your committments. Follow the rules and respect those that make the rules. As much as I didn't like the rule they set, I understand it is there to produce a good show.
When all is said and done, family is the most important. This play will soon only be a memory but you will always have family. I was proud of his decision, as hard as it was to accept the consequences, because he chose family.
This ended up being a testimony-building experience. It was a positive experience for Brad which I am grateful for. He actually wants to do it again but we are going to take a break because it was so demanding and he seemed to miss out on many important events (chores, FHE, scripture study, family vacations). I am very proud of my son and have learned many things from his decision-making capabilities and his positive attitude. He is a good boy and makes us very proud as we see his spiritual growth. It is a priviledge to be his mom. I love him so much.
